Inner Harmony: Restoring the Connection to Self
In the hustle and bustle of life, we often forget the one person who deserves our love and care the most—ourselves. Join me, Ilona Varo, a licensed marriage and family therapist and mastery method coach, as I guide you on a journey to explore the profound importance of nurturing a healthy relationship with the person in the mirror.
You deserve to experience the power of a healthy self-relationship and it deserves your time and energy just as a loved one would.
First, let’s look at all the ways in which we damage our self relationship.
We can damage our relationship with ourselves in various ways, often unintentionally. Here are some common behaviors and actions that can harm this vital connection:
Neglecting Self-Care
It's easy to put self-care on the back burner. We prioritize work, family, and other commitments, leaving ourselves drained and neglected. Self-care isn't selfish; it's a necessity. It's the foundation upon which a healthy relationship with ourselves is built. It is vital to prioritize self-care and nurture our well-being. Start to play around with ways in which you can explore the practice of self-care.
Negative Self-Talk
Our inner dialogue is a powerful force. When we engage in self-criticism and negative self-talk, we erode our self-esteem and self-worth. You can begin by challenging those critical voices and replacing them with self-compassion and optimism, or even a perspective shift will do. Our beliefs about ourselves shape our reality, so pay attention to what shape you are giving your life through your words.
Ignoring Boundaries
Failing to set and maintain healthy boundaries can lead to exhaustion and resentment. We say 'yes' when we mean 'no,' sacrificing our well-being for the sake of others. Boundaries are a form of self-respect. Let's learn to assert ourselves and protect our energy. It's an act of self-love.
Comparing Ourselves to Others
The constant comparison to others in the age of social media can be detrimental. We measure our worth based on someone else's highlight reel, forgetting our unique strengths. We know this yet we keep on doing it. Practice building awareness around this habit and slowly shifting away from it. Embrace your own authenticity. Comparison steals joy; celebrating your unique journey brings empowerment.
Perfectionism
Striving for unattainable perfection sets us up for failure and self-criticism when we inevitably fall short.
Suppressing Emotions
Bottling up emotions rather than acknowledging and processing them can lead to emotional distress and difficulty in understanding ourselves.
Ignoring Self-Reflection
Avoiding introspection and self-awareness prevents personal growth and insight.
Holding onto Grudges
Refusing to forgive ourselves for past mistakes and holding onto grudges can hinder healing and self-compassion.
Self-Sabotage
Engaging in behaviors that undermine our goals and well-being, such as procrastination or self-destructive habits, can damage our self-trust.
Seeking External Validation
Relying solely on external validation for our self-worth leaves us vulnerable to fluctuations in others' opinions.
Avoiding Challenges
Staying in our comfort zone and avoiding challenges limits personal growth and self-confidence.
Negative Influences
Surrounding ourselves with negative or unsupportive people can harm self-esteem and well-being.
Living in the Past
Dwelling on past mistakes or regrets prevents us from moving forward and embracing personal growth.
Being Overly Self-Critical
Setting unrealistically high standards and harshly criticizing ourselves for not meeting them can lead to emotional distress.
It's important to recognize these patterns and actively work on nurturing a healthier relationship with ourselves through self-compassion, self-awareness, and self-care.
What can you do about it?
Knowing these are the main ways in which we erode our relationship to ourselves, here are some steps for you to rebuild this relationship.
Assess the above challenges and downfalls
Set intentions of change in each area
Envision what the future you (the one who has a healthier relationship to yourself) would do, believe and think in each of these areas
Set small incremental goals of action that you can take
Show up for yourself daily in kind and compassionate ways. Remind yourself that your happiness starts with a healthy relationship to yourself.
If you find yourself struggling, please connect, reach out and ask for support. I believe that healing happens within a supportive community. Healing happens through reparative relationships with others. Our tribe of women understands the journey of self-discovery and self-empowerment.
I will also be hosting a FREE Masterclass on healing the relationship to yourself coming soon! Keep an eye out for more details to come.
You can also follow along on Instagram/FaceBook/TikTok/Pinterest/YouTube and join my email list to receive resources, suggestions and more direct from a professional.
With like-minded individuals who are on a path towards renewal. Together, we'll break free from the chains of self-damage and move into self-healing.
Are you ready to break free from self-damage and embrace self-healing? Join me and start your journey today. The path to a brighter future begins with you.
Xo,
ilona